Visiting the Canadian side obviously meant that we would have to cross the border. No big deal, right? It's not like we were smuggling illegal drugs or weapons--so we thought. Having arrived at the border and agreeing to the Canadian,10-minute survey on why we wanted to visit and how long we were staying, we were asked if we had any drugs or weapons, and if so, we needed to surrender them. The polite border man named off a lengthy list of illegal items and one of them happened to be mace. My husband, Jeff, said he had a pocket knife. The Mountie didn't understand the reason for caring one. Jeff explained that many American men carry one for utility uses. I confessed that I did not have any weapons on me. We were then let through. Ahh, finally, we enter into the land of real maple syrup, round bacon, ginger ale, and Jim Carrey.
We decided to park at the border post to wait for Jeff's mother while she surrendered her mace. I dug into my handbag and pulled out what I thought was the handle of a brush; it turned out to be a can of mace I thought I had left at home. I had just unknowing lied to Canadian officials, telling them I didn't have anything on the list. Now, having been read the penalties for bringing contraband over the border, I let out a very loud "OH SHIT" and covered my face with my hands in a panic. Jeff looked over and saw the very large can of mace in my lap and said, "Are you kidding me?” I looked a Jeff and said,"What do I do, Jeff? Should I just toss it in the trash? I don't wanna go to a Canada jail!" Having explained to my husband about the mishap and how I honestly thought I left it at home, he went into the post to explain to the officials and see what they could do for me. After waiting and freaking out an excruciating three minutes, I see my husband being escorted out of the post by Mountie. My husband, with his right hand on his forehead, gives me the I-tried-to-get-you-out-of-jail look.
As I watch every step the Mountie took as he walked closer to our van, I had two options in mind on how I could get out of this situation. I could flee like a coward; make it ten steps and risk getting clobbered by a very tall and bulky Mountie, or I could play dead. Neither option was suitable to how fast the man in red was walking toward me. As he rounded the van and tapped on my window, I swallowed what seemed to be a very large frog. I rolled down my window, and the man in red spoke the words I never wanted to hear," Ma’m, you're going to need to step out of the vehicle and come with me." My heart stopped, my jaw dropped, and my husband says, "Looks like you're going to jail, babe." I screamed, "WHAT! Are you for real?” Just then the ever so nice Mountie bent down, peered through the window, looked at Jeff and said, "You're really having fun with this one, Aye." Jeff replied, "Yes--yes I am." I then knew it was a setup and the nice man was just there to walk me in and talk me through the process of surrendering my mace.
The man in red introduced me to another official who drew up paper work, took my picture, and then had me sign my name, stating that I understand the laws and penalties for bringing illegal weapons into the country; and that I hereby surrender my mace and will never see it again. After completing the standard write up, the man behind the desk released me with a warning slip, a wink, and ever-so relieving smile. He then told me to enjoy my time in the beautiful Canada.
As I walked back to the van, my husband and his father shared a good laugh at my expense. I warned my husband that no one has ever survived going over Niagara Falls, so he better be careful where he stands, someone might accidentally bump him over the railing.
As I walked back to the van, my husband and his father shared a good laugh at my expense. I warned my husband that no one has ever survived going over Niagara Falls, so he better be careful where he stands, someone might accidentally bump him over the railing.
No comments:
Post a Comment